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Re: Toddler sleep/parent dependence

Posted by Stephanie on February 05, 2001 at 14:12:27:

In Reply to: Toddler sleep/parent dependence posted by Joe Blanc on February 04, 2001 at 05:26:44:

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BINGO!
Separation anxiety is very common at around 18 mos. (about the time you say this started) Add to that a pregnancy and you have summed up your situation!
Even though your daughter may not understand that a new baby is coming, she will definitely be affected by the increase in tension in the family. The very fact that she cannot understand what is causing all the excitement may cause her to become anxious and insecure. Now is NOT the time to withdraw your support, if anything your daughter needs to be reassured of your affection more than ever. Trying to force the sleeping issue now, so close to the arrival of a new baby will only make things worse and could make your child jealous of her new rival.

I would recommend pouring on the love and don't worry about spending the time getting her to sleep. Once the baby is here and things settle down, she will most likely get over this sleep phase on her own. This is as big an adjustment for her as it is for you! Why not try having a sleeping bag beside your bed at night. This way she can come in and sleep in your room without disturbing you so much, and at the same time feel more secure.

Having babies so close together (around 2 years) can be difficult. You will need to spend extra time with your daughter, both to make her feel secure, and to give the Mommy a break! One thing to help now is to remind your daughter often about the new baby (using a doll may help) and telling her how much the baby will love her. "see, baby loves you!" This can help your daughter not feel left out and give her positive feelings towards the new baby. Giving her a job when the baby comes, such as throwing the baby's diaper in the trash or bringing mommy a diaper for the baby can also help her feel involved. Show her where you will keep baby's diapers and encourage her "You are such a big helper!" Let her pick a special toy to put in the baby's crib. (a rattle or small stuffed animal) Read stories about babies. (my favorite is called "A Teeny Tiny Baby") All these things can help her feel more excited and less anxious about the new baby's arrival.

Wishing you all the best!!!

Stephanie, mom to 4 boys and a princess!

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Archived Infant Sleep Forum3 viewing only. To post a new topic go to the Infant Forum Homepage.
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