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Re: My 13 month still wants to nurse to sleep

Posted by Stephanie on October 20, 2001 at 08:44:43:

In Reply to: My 13 month still wants to nurse to sleep posted by tired mom on October 19, 2001 at 20:28:23:

Is there a reason you want to wean him? I had a child who wanted to nurse to sleep, and did so until she was over 2. I did not have a problem with this. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics is now recommending that you nurse a child until they are at least two years old to get the maximum benefits of nursing, including continued immunities, nutritional benefits, and the emotional benefits as well! I have nursed only one of my 5 children past a year, I weaned all the rest at about one year because that is what everyone I knew did. When my daughter was born, all that changed. She was a "high needs" baby and nursed more than all her brothers ever did. At a year, she was still not eating solids, even though they were offered. Fortunately by then I had learned a lot more about breastfeeding and I knew that this was still a healthy thing for her. I am still amazed at the benefits I missed out on by weaning my other children early. When she had those typical toddler periods where she did not want to eat, or only wanted certain foods, I knew that she was still getting plenty of good nutrition from nursing, so I didn't have to worry. When she got the normal bumps and bruises all toddlers get, she was SOOOO much easier to console because I could nurse her. This is not just a "prop", there are recordable physical benefits to sucking that help calm a child, and the milk has antibiotic properties that were especially helpful for those cut lips or bit tounge! One time when she fell on the sidewalk and got a very bad scrape on her nose and lip, I was able to calm her down enough to clean the cut and put ice on it simply by nursing her. I was able to hold the ice on her lip while she fell asleep nursing and by the time she woke up, the swelling had gone down. I know that if my sons had been in the same situation at that age, I would have had a wild tiger on my hands! Nursing is a great way to strengthen the bond between mother and child, and some children seem to need this more than others. This is NOT A BAD THING! When you give children the security they need, they outgrow the need faster than if you try to make them go without. My daughter is 2 1/2 now, and she is VERY independant, even though as a baby she was extremely clingy and refused to let other people touch or even talk to her without crying. I was repeatedly counselled that I needed to "wean her away from me" so she would get over this seeming "overdependance". I am so glad I did not listen to these people. I gave my child what she needed, security, and now I am abundantly rewarded by a self confident, outgoing, bubbly child! I did not do this with her 5yo brother, but tried the advice of others. He is still insecure and clingy, and I deeply regret not meeting his needs.

I hope you will consider continuing to nurse your child, and not worry about nursing him to sleep. There is NOTHING WRONG with nursing a child to sleep! Is is only a "sleep problem" if you chose to see it that way. It may be a little more inconvenient, but is it less inconvenient than dealing with a child who can't go to sleep? He won't rely on you forever, I guarantee he will not be nursing to sleep when he's 5. :-) I weaned my daughter at 2 1/2, and now I wish I had let her go longer (weaning was my idea, not hers). There is just something unique and special about nursing a toddler, that is sooo different than nursing a baby. Conventional advice says to wean them before 13 mos. because this is the time that they become emotionally attached to nursing. It stops being just eating and starts becoming a relationship. It is precious and priceless, and I wish I could have had the same experience with my older children. I hope you will give this some thought while you still have the opportunity to experience this wonderful relationship with your own child.
Wishing you all the best!

Stephanie, mom to 4 boys and a princess!

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