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Posted by Stephanie on February 09, 2002 at 01:00:08:In Reply to: Getting a 3-week old to bed: what can be expected? posted by Julia's mom on February 08, 2002 at 16:46:29:
I would recommend bringing your baby to bed with you at night. I would definitely not worry about nursing to sleep, as this is a natural function of nursing. There are chemicals in the end of a feeding that make the baby sleepy. :-) Co-sleeping will also allow you to nurse your baby as often as she likes without worrying about getting up, nursing, then trying to get her back into a bed. This usually results in more sleep for both of you! Night nursings are important, because babies can get up to 1/3 their daily nutrition from them, and they are also important for maintaining an adequate milk supply, so don't be in a hurry to cut them out! Many babies continue to nurse at night for up to a year or longer, though some may stop sooner.
Personally, I think putting a child to sleep in their own bed is a highly overrated practice. I taught my babies to sleep in a wide variety of places and positions. As a result, my kids can sleep almost anywhere. However, because of medical problems, my youngest was always put in her crib for naps (she slept with us at night) and she was the only one who had trouble sleeping in an unfamiliar situation. I could not put her down at someone else's house, the church nursery, etc, because it was not "her bed". I have heard other mothers confirm this, saying that their child sleeps well in their own bed, but nowhere else. I allowed my babies to sleep on blankets on the floor, in strollers, in tote seats, in slings, or playpens. I could lay down a blanket anywhere and they would lay down on it and go to sleep. This is a valuable skill. :-)
If you are having trouble getting your daughter to sleep during the day, I would suggest you try a baby sling. You can rock or nurse your baby in the sling, and then let her sleep there, or when she is good and asleep, carefully take the sling off, with baby still wrapped inside, and put the whole thing in the crib, or a tote seat. This often prevents them from waking up because there is no change of temperature, and they still feel "held". Slings can be lifesavers for colicky babies, you can do housework and still hold your baby, and the motion is very similar to what they experienced in the womb. Vacuuming with a baby in a sling is often a great way to get a fussy baby to sleep (as long as the noise does not scare them!) Just be sure to have someone help you learn to adjust the sling properly. A well adjusted sling will not hurt your back or shoulders. Slings without padding are best because you can adjust them much more snugly, which gives you the correct fit.
I would not be concerned about rocking your child to sleep. Remember, your baby was rocked and held to sleep for nine months in the womb, with almost constant motion. Most pregnant mothers notice that their baby was most active when they are lying down or sitting still. Walking and moving produce a natural, rhythmic motion for unborn babies that puts them to sleep. They are used to being rocked to sleep before birth, it is not a terrible thing for them to continue to expect this. It is almost unnatural to suddenly expect them to go to sleep without motion.
I would NOT worry about nursing or rocking becoming "sleep props". The fear of "sleep props" is based on the goal of teaching your child to "self comfort". I never had this goal with my children, I have no problem comforting them or meeting their needs. What is the benefit of a "self-comforting" child, other than for the convenience of the parent? Holding and comforting your child helps them connect with the world, it builds a foundation of trust that you will build on for the rest of their lives. You want your child to learn that when they need something, they can be confident that their needs will be met. The need for physical contact is just as valid as the need to be fed. There is absolutely nothing wrong with holding, rocking or nursing a child to sleep, or even holding them for naps. I did this often with my children, it was a way for me to be sure I took time to rest, it is very tempting to try to get things done while the baby sleeps.
I would not be in a big hurry to get your child to go to sleep by herself. If you push it, you will only stress out yourself and your baby. (if you do decide to use "sleep training", remember that NO sleep expert recommends this method for babies under SIX MONTHS old) Expecting a baby to go to sleep on it's own can lead to frustration for the parent if the child does not meet these expectations. Just relax and see what your baby's natural patterns are. You might just "luck out" and get an easy sleeper. If not, don't worry, eventually they all learn to go to sleep alone. Enjoy your baby, she's only little once! :-)
Stephanie, mom to 4 boys and a princess!
- Re: Getting a 3-week old to bed: what can be expected? ........ 17:11 2/10/02 (0)
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