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Posted by Lori on December 03, 1998 at 17:36:56:In Reply to: Clarify pseudo insomnia for me! posted by sakina on December 02, 1998 at 14:41:08:
I think from a previous post that you said you are taking Ambien. I know this drug well, from personal experience. I THOUGHT it was helping me. But this is what I did: I took the pill. Within a half hour, I was up, eating everything in sight. I'd read half a book. At some point I turned off the light and "went to sleep". The next morning I would wake up, find all kinds of evidence of things I didn't remember eating. I vomited every morning. I couldn't remember anything from the previous night. I felt spacy. THEN, I'd get the rest of the story: The conversations I didn't remember having, waking up in my car-wearing only a t-shirt-with the motor running, all the burners on the stove on high. I don't know which thing is more frightening. Two and a half months ago, I just stopped taking it. I realized that I wasn't sleeping well, even with a sleeping pill. Now I take 150 mgs. of trazodone at bedtime, and sleep better than I have my whole adult life.
For years, everyone I know told me to get off the sleeping pills. I refused to listen. After all, they were sleeping just fine, what right did they have to tell ME what to do with my own body? But there comes a point where you have to ask yourself if what you're doing is effective. Do you still wake up feeling like crap, even after taking the pills? I felt awful every day when I woke up. I was depressed and exhausted. The idea of giving up my salvation - my pills - was too much for me to handle. I don't exactly know what happened to me to change my way of thinking; it just happened. I didn't CHOOSE to have insomnia, but I can choose how I deal with it.
The people in my life are amazed at my transformation. My mind is clear, my thoughts are lucid, and I don't lay awake at night obsessing about NOT sleeping. Again, I'm not sure HOW it happened, other than having a strong determination to feel better for a change. Also, finding the others on this forum has probably saved my life. Without the constant support and advice I've received, I think I'd still be lying awake at night, wondering why I'm the only one up while the world is sleeping.
- Re: Clarify pseudo insomnia for me! Jan 12/04/98 (0)
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