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Re: Question for Beth

Posted by Beth on January 10, 2002 at 06:35:26:

In Reply to: Question for Beth posted by Sleepy Aussie Girl on January 08, 2002 at 20:07:09:

As Rachel says, you have to learn to live in the present. It's such a cliche, but "one day at a time" has to become your mantra. And that includes not only stopping worries over tomorrow, but also letting go of the past. I believe you are going to get better, but you will not be the same as you once were. If we didn't change, we wouldn't really be living our lives.

Yes, I still struggle with negative thinking sometimes, and I still struggle with the fear of insomnia at times. But now the fear doesn't own me anymore. Like Rachel, I learned to observe my thoughts and stop them or dismiss them when negative ones occur. Like anything, it takes time and practice. You will gain confidence as you start to realize that the insomnia can be controlled.

Dealing with the insomnia will make you a stronger person, and may help you in ways you can't even imagine right now. I am going through a very stressful time with one of my teenage daughters, and I think I am better able to be there for her and understand her than I would have before the inosmnia. And I am sleeping well, for the most part (7-8 hours almost every night.) I did wake at 4 this morning worrying about her and could not go back to sleep, but I know this is normal when under so much stress and I am not afraid of this insomnia. When I think back to how I felt one year ago, the change is amazing. I was terrified to stop taking trazodone and sleeping very sporadically. It took me about 4 months to start to feel confident that I was beating it, and after that the fear was still there for many more months. I still think of insomnia briefly every single night when I get in bed, but I don't allow myself to dwell on it for long. I often think of everyone on this forum and pray for all of us, and the next thing I know, it's morning.

You're going to be fine, it's natural to get discouraged but just love yourself and accept yourself as you are and you'll find peace.

Beth

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