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Posted by Lynne on April 18, 2002 at 00:14:07:In Reply to: Chronically fatigued posted by Ellie on April 17, 2002 at 17:49:47:
Hi Ellie, so sorry to hear about your problems. Something just came into my head - something that Susan has said on these forums before. Apart from the fatigue/insomnia, does your life satisfy you? Are you happy with it, or could you at least reach acceptance and contentedness? Or are you one of those people who is always discontent and wanting more (I was before, so I know what it's like!). I don't know anything about your lifestyle, but maybe if you can change it, change what you dislike about it, or accept it as it is without always internally fighting, it could help.
I agree with what Susan said a while ago, that doing things that you enjoy in life, basically creating a life you like, really helps. Maybe you have a job which you don't necessarily love (a lot of jobs are boring), but you could reach some kind of acceptance of it (and hence serenity, and hence less sense of fatigue and better sleep?). The spiritual/emotional side to insomnia, fatigue, depression etc. is very important. If you look after that, the rest may look after itself. I found reading spiritual, self-help kind of books quite helpful (in becoming less of a person who wants, wants, wants, but doesn't quite know exactly what!). They helped me to realise deep down, that no lives are 'perfect' as we imagine them in our heads (or as we see them on TV), and that to be happy we have to learn to accept our lives as they are, to accept our bodies, our failings, etc. etc. To convince ourselves that we are lovable EXACTLY AS WE ARE. If we manage to do that, then there is a lot less internal conflict (a lot of it is so subconscious that you don't even realise it's going on). Basically, it's a question of increasing your sense of inner security and confidence. There are several ways of doing this. If, for example, you (you in the general sense, not in the personal sense) feel lonely, are divorced, or whatever, you could start doing some voluntary work, work with others who are less fortunate - this would help put things into perspective and provide an important human contact. Or get a pet and devote yourself to caring for it.
If you're bored, you could try to start some new activity and really throw yourself into it 100%. I know all this takes energy, which you haven't got at the moment, but I believe it's the only way out. It's never easy and pain-free, from what I've seen, to find a way out of these dilemmas, but you have to make a superhuman effort to do all these things, make your life as full and enjoyable as you can (without focusing on the tiredness if possible). This should help you achieve some serenity over time, which should then help you to sleep better.
Sorry to ramble on, as usual, but I felt I wanted to try and help you. Take care.
L.
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