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PILLS


Posted by gus on September 17, 2002 at 16:37:46:

I can’t sleep.
Even when my eyes feel like saucers and there’s nothing in particular to fear
I can’t sleep and I feel ill.
So they gave me pills
But the pills didn’t work and I couldn’t sleep and I felt ill.
So they gave me different pills
And they worked. I slept – Hallelujah! And I didn’t feel ill.
But after some time, the pills began to make me feel ill.
I took the pills, I slept (Hallelujah!), but I felt ill.
I thought “maybe these pills aren’t too good after a while”
So I stopped taking the pills and I couldn’t sleep and I felt hellishly ill.
I couldn’t stand it so I began to take the pills again
And I slept (Hallelujah!) and all was well for a short while
Until the pills began to make me feel ill again.
So they questioned whether I might be addicted to the pills
(Nasty word “addiction”)
And they gave me new pills to replace the old pills.
I took the new pills and I couldn’t sleep and I felt hellishly ill.
So what the hell do I do now?


(The foregoing words express how it is for me – a juggling act of what to take & when to take it. Along with Remeron (7.5mg), last night was my first night on Sonata (10mg) to replace the Imovane (like Ambien) that I’ve been on pretty regular for 4 years. I spent a horribly drugged-out & panic-stricken night with no sleep and today I felt like a wretched useless zombie. Guessing I’ll probably have to return to Imovane with the blessing of sleep and the curse of anxiety-inducing hangovers. Needless to say I feel very low & discouraged.
Gus)


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