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A living Hell.....

Posted by Godhelpmesleep! on September 17, 2002 at 09:20:27:

Im 47 have a beautiful wife and 3 boys. Four months ago I went to see my doc about my high anxiety problems. He said my BP was high and but me on a beta blocker - well that did it! Went 7 days without any sleep!! Doc stopped the BP med and gave me xanax for short term relief. Went to a psych and they gave me Trazedone (TZD) for my mild depression. Thats funny, I never felt that depressed, but something is causing this hard core insomnia. Anyway my psych told me I could take 200 mg TZD to start off with - well that night I popped the pills and went to bed. All of a sudden my limbs got weak and I passed out 3 times trying to get downstairs - my boys and wife were scared to death....When I told my Psych about this she just said you need to cut back a little and slowly increase the dosage with a target of 300mg per night. Well for 3 weeks I slowly increase the dose starting out at 50mg and building up to 250 mg. Several times during the course of these 3 weeks I was awakend out of my sleep with a racing heartbeat. I would get up for a couple of hours and try to calm myself down. My heartbeat is normally 60BPM - now it was 75-80 all of the time - I felt wierd and only slept 4-5 hours per night. Now for the clentcher - I kept complaining to my Psych about my side effects and she kept saying keep taking it keep taking it! Well one night about 2 weeks ago I took my 250mg dose and got in bed - and that is when all hell broke loose - I started feeling faint, my heartbeat accelerated to 150+ BPM, my son call 911 - paramedics hooked me up to an EKG and said I was having some PVCs (pre ventricular contractions - not really dangerous) my Heartbeat slowed to 80 and they recommended I stop the Trazodone ASAP. The next day I informed my Psych and the first thing she said was "I think Im going to have to drop you as a patient" hows that for a caring attitude. Anyway I dropped her, I signed up for a Sleep Center and now Im filling out a sleep log for the next two weeks. I have had Chronic Insomnia for 4 months now (short - compared to some of you people). I slept 0 hours last night. Many nights as I lay on the couch staring at the walls I asked the Lord to please just take me- please just take me - I love my family and all but what good will it be for me to just slowly disentigrate in front of them. So what good has come out this? Im closer to Jesus than I have ever been and he is holding my hand as I walk through this trial whatever the outcome - I will live with him in glory! Did not mean to bore you people but it feels good just to know there are others out there like me.....

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