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Isn't it amazing.......

Posted by Andrea on November 05, 2002 at 14:42:14:

that after days, weeks and months of med-free sleep,one night of difficulty in getting to sleep can resurrect all the old fears and "black thoughts" associated with insomnia? After much reflection, research, pondering and self-examination, I have determined that the only true fear I have in life is not being able to sleep....primarily because the unbelievable ramifications of sleep deprivation are only too familiar to me.

For me, it seems to boil down to what extent I let this rule my life!! Even whether a med will work or not seems to be largely derendent on whether I let it or not...when my insomnia was at its peak a few years ago, nothing seemed to work.

One can easily get caught up in a whirlwind of to med or not, with the ensuing guilt, disappointment or somehow feeling less than adequate if you do. Where does it end? It seems only to be put to rest(no pun intended) when I decide to take charge of my life and consistently prop up and self-affirm myself against the nagging doubt about all this. It appears no one else can do it for you.

How little is known in this area of insomnia by the medical community is astounding! Sure, they can check for apnea or RLS, can tell you about the different stages of sleep and categorize them as to delta, theta, etc. and even remove a tumor if you have one....but the mystery(and stigma) surrounding sleep, this natural function of life so necessary to our physical and psychological well-being, is still just that...a mystery, after all these years. Any other bodily function, i.e. digestion, can be explained and treated ad infinitum.

I have concluded that the human brain is too complex to ever master and its functions will forever remain mysterious...at least as far as sleep is concerned. If we've only come as far medically as pushing pills that in the long term exacerbate the problem of insomnia, then perhaps it truly is(as I think I read in Shakespeare)...."a malaise of the spirit".


When you consider that science put a man on the moon but can't explain what sleep truly is and how to achieve it, it makes you wonder, doesn't it? Thanks to this forum, we have somewhere to share our feelings, findings and yes, frustrations about this ailment that affects at least 10% of the population, not just sometimes, but chronically. I applaud all you courageous people who daily deal with this debilitating situation and thank Sandman/Sandmama for providing this forum which goes a long way in helping us help each other to heal. Sincerely, Andrea

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