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musings on conditioned insomnia, SR

Posted by beth on November 09, 2002 at 11:52:49:

hi everyone,
i've been thinking about some of the comments made recently about the causes of chronic insomnia and the use of sleep restriction and stimulus control.

i've been part of this forum for quite some time now and have seen a lot of folks come and go. it's clear that everyone is different, and there are different solutions for different people, but i do want to put in yet another plug for trying SR and stimulus control. after careful reading of many posts from those who found the method unsatisfactory, i've noticed that many times the reason is because they gave up too soon or they were unable to follow the program closely, especially in regards to stimulus control. i know this is not the case with everyone, so please don't get upset with me. my heart goes out to those who have tried so hard and still suffer constantly. i also know there are many reasons people can't follow the program--they lead very stressful lives and have to go to work every day and perform. i often remind myself how lucky i am in my life--i am a stay at home mom with a supportive husband and no financial worries.

my insomnia may not have been as bad as some on this forum, and with the passage of time the horror of it does fade, but i want to encourage those who are trying this method not to give up. i had severe, chronic insomnia for about 2 years. during that time, i had many nights of 0 hours of sleep. i also took medication every night for about 18 months, and it failed me over and over. i experienced most of what i read in other's posts. yes, it was unappealing to drag myself out of bed if i couldn't sleep after about 20 minutes, and yes, there were nights i wasn't sure if i was awake or in a very shallow sleep. i was miserable during the day, and i could not nap. i lost 10 pounds and could barely function. i wished i was dead sometimes. i cried all the time. i went to 8 different doctors, including sleep specialists, psychologists, and pyschiatrists. i took a year's worth of chinese herbs and acupuncture treatments.

and what was the key to finally conquering this beast? strict adherence to sleep restriction and stimulus control, while working on my anxiety and negative thoughts during the day. when i first read wiedman's book i cried, because it seemed too simple and i did not believe it would work. i think that is why it took me 4 months to get consistent results--because i could not believe it could be that simple and i doubted it would work for me. i even had several doctors, including sleep specialists, tell me it would not work.

so that's why i keep posting here, because i want to let others know that although it was extremely difficult, it was worth it. i now sleep 7-8 hours every night with no meds. i still have the fear, but it is much less powerful now.

that brings me to another theory i have. i know there are many causes of insomnia, including physical, but i think it is very possible that for most people, chronic, severe insomnia results from conditioning. it may start as the result of a physical cause, but it becomes chronic because human nature quickly conditions us to fear it. that's why behavior modification such as stimulus control is so important for getting it under control. and i think that's why many people who are not normally anxious or phobic still become phobic in this one area. phobias are interesting. i know many people who function great in society but have just one phobia, such as fear of flying or fear of spiders. i think fear of insomnia is just another phobia, but unfortunately for us, it's one that is very hard to run away from and one that is very disruptive in our lives. they say that the only way to conquer a phobia is to face it. you'd think that after facing it every day and actually coming so far, i wouldn't think of it anymore. but it's still always there. it just doesn't control me anymore. i remember how much pain i was in and want to help anyone else out there the way i was helped.

so pardon my ramblings. i've always considered this the pro-drug website for insomniacs (i used to go to wiedman's site for support) and it still seems that most of the postings are discussions of which drug to take and how much. so when a few people come on to report success with sleep restriction or other natural methods, we need to support that as well.

i am not totally against drugs, and i do resort to klonipin once a month or so. i am not judging anyone, because i know how much everyone here suffers. i hope you all find relief soon.

peace,
beth


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