Insomnia Forum Posting

Posted by Tom-N-Texas on January 27, 2005 at 10:07:24:

In Reply to: Re: 10 Good Sleep Tips posted by Seeking sleep on January 27, 2005 at 09:32:58:

You would still say that the most important factor was changing your attitude and the way you dealt with anxiety right?

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Oh yea, without a doubt. However, to be fair, my new attitude/philosophy was not an overnight sensation. Well....it was and it wasn't. When I had finally seen the light -- that my constant backfipping for sleep wasn't working -- I did, in fact, have an incredible flash of enlightenment that was instantaneous. However, in reality, it was a war of attrition for me. It took me quite a while to "unlearn" many of the mental bad habits I had started for myself.
This took the form of unplugging my computer, not complaining about it to my wife or parents, throwing away books, discontinuing my search for remedies,working on visualizing a positive outcome...etc.

Also, I learned to try and not fight anxiety. It was there. And many times it seemed to be fruitless to fight it. In fact, I would often go the opposite direction and say to myself....."OK....right...I know...I'm not going to sleep tonight....so what else?...what else can you hit me with?....give me your best shot....Is that all you have...You're starting to bore me..." etc.

Insomnia hasn't really changed the way I think. However, I'm completely honest with myself when I say it could come back at any moment. I admit that freely. In fact, I sometimes even mentally dare it to come back -- Not because I think I'm invisible or immune (not hardly) -- but because by doing so, it keeps me in a mental position of strength. It would be kind of like if you had 2 brothers. An older one and a younger one. When they were kids, the older one probably had the upper hand in strength and power. However as they grow older, things might physically even out a bit. HOWEVER the older brother might STILL have a mental advantage over the younger one because of the things he says...or the way he acts...or his attitude towards him. It's the same with me and sleeping. You can probably hear it my words on this fourm.

Did I have Anxiety before insomnia. Yes, but I didn't really ackowledge it. I am a very outgoing person. I'm very approachable and easy to talk to. However, stragely, I'm not very good in public places. Many of my friends seem shocked when I admit to them that I don't like being at big parties or being in closed-in rooms with lots of people. I do much better one on one or in very small groups.

Also, I've always struggled with public speaking. Although I have to make presentations occasionally to my employees, it takes all my courage to actually get up there and talk. It's taken me years to overcome this and get where I am now with that....and it's still very shaky at best.

I'm also somewhat of a control freak. If something slips out of my control (such as a health issue, or a worldly issue) I get very uneasy and nervous.

I haven't learned to control my anxiety to well outside of insomnia. But I'm working on it. Exercise seriously helps with this though.

Tom

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