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Re: Oh no!

Posted by Seeking sleep on January 31, 2005 at 08:55:13:

In Reply to: Re: Oh no! posted by Tom-N-Texas on January 28, 2005 at 17:15:47:

Hey Tom -

Well I'm doing it. I'm stopping the madness. All my insomnia books are in a bag to be taken from the house and I'm going to attempt to not come here anymore except to see if you responded to this email.

I do not have a sleep problem. I have a problem with the way I think about sleep and I can change the way that I think. I've defined myself as an insomniac and all the reading and life style changes are only contributing to it as you know. I'm going to try and let it all go as much as possible. Everytime there is trouble I clutch my copy of "Say Goodnight to Insomnia" like it's my Bible. I'm not saying that I won't try hardcore SR sometime in the future, but first I've got to quit trying to find a solution out there that is going to "cure" me. As you said one time, the answer is not as difficult as we make it.

I would love to know how you made yourself stop talking about it to your wife and your parents. It's become such a habit you know? "How are you today Molly?" "Well I slept 3 hours last night so...." They asked how I was doing and it's all about how I slept.

I slept 3 hours last night - I feel pretty lousy but I've got to stop obsessing about this. My husband wants to put a block on my computer for anything that has to do with sleeping. I went to google the other day to preform what I thought would be a beneficial search on insomnia and CBT and found something deep in an article by Gregg Jacobs that discouraged me about my recovery. That's all it took to blow what little convidence I was gaining. So, I just have to stop looking for ways that I'm going to fail. I do not believe 100% that I'll be okay and recover. I have moments where I belive I'll be okay and then I panic. Was this the same for you? Spending on this time on this part of my life is making me doubt everything, so this is obviously not the best route for me.

Pleas send me any more last pieces of advice on how to quit living my life as an insomniac. You have to know that I am scared to death, but in another way I feel somewhat relieved. You've inspired me Tom.

Thanks -

Molly

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