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Fear of Sleep

Posted by Onat on May 31, 2005 at 09:49:35:

Hi:

I have posted several messages on this forum before, but I have not gotten a lot of responses, so here I try again. I have what I think a unique problem. I am terrified of sleep. I like the feeling I get after a good night's sleep and unless I drive myself to fear and anxiety, I have no trouble falling asleep (no insomnia). But I am scared of losing conciousness. I don't know why. It is not a concious fear of death or being in danger. I just don't like the feeling of "being gone" for 8 straight hours. One thing I do is putting gadget in my bed or even in my pjs that would poke me and wake me up. When I have them, I feel relaxed knowing that I will wake up and can fall asleep. Usually in the middle of the night when I am not "awake" enough, I throw them out of my bed because they are uncomfortable, but originally when I am trying to go to sleep, I need to know that I will be uncomfortable enough to wake up eventually so I can comfortable and relaxed enough and fall asleep. Weird I know...Hence my call for help.

In general I am a very anxious person with signs of OCD. My sleep fear has almost completely gone since I've had a bed partner for about a year, but now it seems like we are going to be separated and I am terrified the monster will come back. That's why I am in a very unhealthy relationship, to avoid being alone and to avoid my sleep problems which have haunted me since I was 17 (I am 30 now). Most night (when I sleep alone without a bed partner), sleep fear is mild anxiety, but some nights it is a full panic attack. I am trying to avoid those attacks, so I am staying with this person who is my bed partner. I can't even travel comfortably anymore in fear of sleeping alone and having my fear/panic attacks.

What do you think I should do? I will get back to therapy and I was in therapy before, but it wasn't that helpful.

Please help me. Thanks.

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