Posted by Tom-N-Texas on October 03, 2005 at 07:20:31:

In Reply to: How to change after 12 years of it? posted by Brightonbelle on October 03, 2005 at 05:46:10:

Brightonbelle,

Thank you for writing your story. Yours is a perfect example of how insomnia is sometimes like a slip-knot: the harder you pull, the tighter and harder to unravel the problem gets. (I think it was zzz who made this comparison.)

You self-admittedly say you are an over-thinker....and that this is most of your problem. If anyone has read these boards for any amount of time they would be able to figure out that I'm the same way. Now I'm not that way from a root of obsessive compulsion, mine seems to stem from a sheer desire of enlightenment. I love to learn and analyze things. For example I love to play and hear good classical music. So as a result can't just be a run-of-the mill guitar player, I want to learn from the best so I can be my best. I still practice daily. It's the same thing with money for me. I could read all day about finances, making money, or investing in real-estate. It's all incredibly interesting and very motivating to me. Same thing with health issues. I love pouring hours and hours into teaching myself what true health really means -- and how that differs from the concept of pill-prescribing doctors.

And when I started not sleeping, I poured all my brain-power and energy into that subject. All of my thinking went into overcoming that thing that was stopping me from enjoying the rest of my life. Of course what I finally realized was this was the worst thing I could do. You sound like you have learned this also. But what to do about it?

Think of it like a paper-shedder. What happens when you try to put too much paper into the machine? Well usually, the paper will go about half-way down into the machine and then get stuck. Now sometimes very stubborn people will try unsuccessfully to force it through. However, knowing that this won't work, the company that designed the paper-shedder included a feature that allows the user to REVERSE the paper...because that's the only direction it will come back out.

It was no different with my sleep. I had to reverse all the bad habits I had tried to force upon myself. No more garbage could fit in my head and I just had to get it out.

Now with sleep it's not physically possible to "unthink" things. That's why I finally realized there had to be another escape route...because stopping certain thoughts and negative emotions is usually not possible. Trust me, I did not overcome my insomnia by suddenly having a rash of positive thinking. That would have been too easy, because by nature I am a positive person. But what I eventually realized was that I could learn to sleep despite having these thoughts...and fighting them really served no good purpose. The trick, of course, to not letting these thoughts eat me up inside was to divert my thoughts and emotions to different things when I got in bed. Eventually I learned that these negative thoughts are just that: thoughts. They have no particular power...no more power than my positive thoughts. The key is how you react to them: If you fight them, they may just get worse -- like that slip-knot. However if you accept that they will be a part of your life for some time and try to make the most of them (even welcome them as part of you), they may start to seem less powerful.

Now 12 years is a long time. You may not even remember how it feels to sleep normally. If it were me, I would try to make a goal of improving very slowly. I might even set out each night just to sleep for 1 or 2 hours....just a simple cat nap. This would mentally take the pressure off. And if you think about it, 1-2 hours is better than no hours -- which you say happens regularly.

Quick Tip for everyone -- We all need to remember that sleeping is like a baseball pitcher. The pitcher doesn't think about the mechanics of his pitching motion when he throws the ball. He doesn't worry about how high his leg kicks or how far his stride is. It's just a fluid motion. It's habit...it's thoughtless...and it's easy. That's how sleep should be. And that what we all should work towards.

Follow Ups:

• Re: How to change after 12 years of it? Brightonbelle 11:25 10/03/05 (2)
  • Re: How to change after 12 years of it? Tom-N-Texas 14:09 10/03/05 (0)
  • Re: How to change after 12 years of it? optimistic 13:41 10/03/05 (0)

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