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Am I recovering or not ??

Posted by stargate on October 03, 2005 at 09:37:06:

I just can't get my head around this thing.

About a month and a half ago, I thought I was cured. I went 10 days with really good sleep. Started to forget about the insomnia thing, stopped fearing bed. Then, whammo, went sleepless on a Sunday night. This started a 2 week bout that was the worst I have had it since the insomnia began a few months ago. My sleep was absolutely horrible. Several nights per week with no sleep at all, or maybe I would get in 45 minutes of sleep. If I did sleep a few hours, my sleep was terribly fragmented and very shallow. I was a wreck and on the verge of a complete breakdown.

Then a few weeks ago I started strict SR. From day 1 on SR, I slept like a baby, 5-6 hours per night. It was great. Unfortunately by the second week, it stopped working so well. Probably due to my own self doubts. Basically, I was sleeping well every other day, but having much difficulty on the other nights even if I was exhausted. Then last Tuesday after having a couple of bad nights, I started sleeping really well out of the blue. This lasted for 5 straight days. I was even taking naps after work, going to bed early, sleeping in on the weekend. It was like I was back to normal. The last night, whammo again, went to bed at 11 pm, couldn't fall asleep until like 3:30 am. Up at 6:30 for work.

So, I don't know. Just when I think I am in the clear or have this thing under control, I go right back. I am running out of ideas. Do I go back to SR? I mean, I went to bed last night with the same frame of mind I had all last week, why the change? why no sleep? I was positive and had a clear mind. I just can't get a handle on this. Is it still just anxiety that is doing this?

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