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Sinking fast losing hope


Posted by hendo on October 03, 2005 at 21:31:37:

2 years out of high school. I used to have sleep onset insomnia, only when I had school, and I could always sleep well on weekends. Now it's a whole different story.

In the beginning of August I was sleeping for ten hours a night without a problem. I'd always feel I was in a good deep sleep with minimal interruptions and I'd always woke up feeling refreshed. Out of no where I started having insomnia. Although I could get inconsistent sleep, I could still get a healthy amount, but now it has deteriorated significantly in a short amount of time. I feel like I'm fighting just to get 2 hours of sleep a night. I wasn't depressed or anxious about anything when it started, it was one of the most carefree times in my life.

In the middle of August I began having problems sleeping regularly, I went to the doctor and they gave me Ambien. It never really helped. After this, I was prescribed Amitriptylin. It never really helped me and gradually I was getting less and less sleep. After a few days on it, I noticed very strange bodily reactions like a shocking feeling in the right side of my brain when I saw or heard something sudden or something that surprised me. Like if my dog barked, or if someone made a quick or sudden movement, it felt like the right side of my head had been shocked with electricity. The last time I took Amitryptylin, I took only half a pill and it kept me awake for two days so I checked myself into a hospital. There they gave me seroquel to help me sleep and zoloft for depression. I certainly believe this was a misdiagnosis. I was still getting the strange feelings in the right side of my head except now it almost felt constant and amplified whenever I took any of their meds. It was just adding fuel to the fire. If I simply closed my eyes for a short time and opened them into a lighted area, I would get the same shocking feeling. I took the Amitriptylin for 9 days and stopped taking it on September 1st along with the other drugs on the night of September 3rd. No doctor has explained to me why I got such abnormal reactions to these drugs.

I haven't been able to sleep for weeks. During my last visit to the doctor I was given Lunesta. This didn't help me either. I truly believe there is something seriously wrong, possibly from the Amitriptylin. The insomnia is getting progressively worse. Nothing feels the same anymore, I feel like a walking zombie. I feel like I'm waiting for the day when I can sleep and feel regular again. My ideal state is to be drug free and live like a regular human being again. I do not want to be on any types of unnatural drugs or chemicals. I'm 19 years old, I feel like my life is over before it began.

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