Posted by sunflower on October 04, 2005 at 04:54:53:

In Reply to: How to change after 12 years of it? posted by Brightonbelle on October 03, 2005 at 05:46:10:

This seems to be a common problem for insomniacs. I ended up working part time and then from home. My life became more and more restricted and it got to the point that if anything was happening the following day, no matter how minor, I would not sleep . My long suffering partner also had a very hard time trying to ‘protect’ me by keeping forthcoming events a secret until the day….things that I did know of (and couldn’t escape from!) such as Xmas get togethers were spent in agony after a build up of many sleepless nights in advance

Over a year of CBT has helped, although I have a long way to go. In the past I would have said that I solely had a sleep problem, it has taken a long time to acknowledge that my insomnia is a symptom of anxiety and probably a lack of confidence in social situations. This was hard to see as if I slept I did enjoy going out and I wouldn’t have said I was anxious as such (although I now know anxiety can manifest itself in different ways).

The only way to get over this is (as so many here have said) is to go out and do things anyway. This is so hard to do consistently but the idea is that eventually your subconscious realises that you are going to go regardless of whether you have slept or not! I have been told many times that I am probably using my sleeplessness as an excuse to not do things and although consciously I would not go through the hell of insomnia I always feel that there is probably a grain of truth in this.

Of course it’s not really possible to enjoy a social event if you’ve been up the previous 3 nights but by going you have to see it as a victory achieved and a vital step towards getting better. Whilst I often find it difficult to see that I have made progress (especially during particularly bad phase, such as I have suffered the past few weeks) there have been occasions during the past year when I have slept before an event that would have definitely kept me up in the past..

I have learned that it is better to know exactly when I have to go to things (although too full a diary can still freak me out!) My CBT therapist has encouraged me to face one at a time, taking each day at a time and has shown me that facing them is much better than the continual underlying anxiety caused from knowing something might be happening at some point in the indeterminate future!

As I said previously it is so hard to go about living a “normal” life consistently so it will require a lot of help and encouragement . You do not say whether you live alone or not but in a way I think it is better if you do have obligations and responsibilities of some sort. (I finally had to address this as we now have a child and it is impossible for me not to plan things in advance )…..maybe you could start in a small way and make an arrangement to meet up with an understanding friend or even join an evening class or something that requires you to go regularly……the key thing is to accept you are going and that nothing bad will happen to you, even if you have been up the night before….I hope that this helps and wish you luck in overcoming your insomnia

S

Follow Ups:

• Re: How to change after 12 years of it? Brightonbelle 09:52 10/04/05 (2)
  • Re: How to change after 12 years of it? sunflower 14:05 10/04/05 (0)
  • Re: How to change after 12 years of it? sova 11:19 10/04/05 (0)
• Re: How to change after 12 years of it? Brightonbelle 09:01 10/04/05 (0)
• Re: How to change after 12 years of it? Brightonbelle 08:58 10/04/05 (0)
• Re: How to change after 12 years of it? Brightonbelle 08:58 10/04/05 (0)
• Re: How to change after 12 years of it? Brightonbelle 08:51 10/04/05 (0)

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