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Re: Am I recovering or not ??

Posted by Charmaine on October 04, 2005 at 05:09:19:

In Reply to: Am I recovering or not ?? posted by stargate on October 03, 2005 at 09:37:06:

Hi,
I can identify with you 100%. After 6 months of following a light form of SR, 11:45-6:30 I gradually increased my time, until I got to 10:45pm about a month and a half ago. I slept fine (few awakenings) for two weeks and was thrilled. I was encouraged to do this, after reading posts from Beth and others, who were able to sleep 7-8 hrs a night after a few months being on SR. Then bang!!!! A sleepless night every alternate night for about two weeks! I did not have much anxiety initially, so I don't think that anxiety was the main cause. I think my sleep system started to weaken. I went back to SR, 12-6 for the past month, and am managing 4-5, sometime 6 hrs per day - only recently. This past month has been absolute torcher. I'm still not on track like before this setback, and regret chaning my times. The price I had to pay, and still paying is too high for wanting extra zzz.I thought that I would be fine after 6 months, but I think once your body clock is distrupted it takes a long time to get back to normal...maybe sometimes
we have to admit that it is never going to be normal again. I think we have to live close within the boundries of SR, and not dare to venture to far from it..

Last night I went for a management meeting. I had a huge disagreement with someone, and I was very disturbed and upset. I got home about 10:00pm. My husband and I continued talking about the 'confrontation' till about eleven.

I thought that this would affect my sleep, but I had the best 6hrs sleep in the last month! Go figure... because I can't. Sometimes I think this insomnia thing has a mind of its own, and it doesn't matter what emothional state I am in.

Stick with SR. I intend to for a very long time.
If you want to venture out, I suggest you go to bed abit earlier once or twice a week the most.
It is a hard, strict and rigid life to lead, and I hate it every single day... but there are no alternatives. We have to adjust our selves to this new lifestyle, if we ever have a chance of leading a 'normal' lives. Is it not so ironic?

Hold on, its a bumpy ride. I thought that I was not going to live through this, but I have. This thing does affect your self confidence and self esteem. I am not the happy, bubbly person I use to be, and I miss her - every body does.
Maybe one day she will return.

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