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Re: My new girlfriend has insomnia

Posted by Tom-N-Texas on October 07, 2005 at 15:13:40:

In Reply to: My new girlfriend has insomnia posted by walkingshark on October 06, 2005 at 19:13:28:

shark,

I think you're doing the right thing to just listen when she needs to talk. Quite honestly there's not much else you can do. I wouldn't follow jody's advice (although some of points may be valid) and just drop her because she has a sleeping problem. This person is a human being. She has hopes, feelings, love, desires and dreams just like anyone else. Who knows, maybe you could love her for who the wonderful person she is inside as opposed to focusing on her weaknesses. Lots of people have handicaps. Some people live in constant pain and are miserable all the time. Some folks have mental disorders and are never predictable. Some people may seem healthy on the outside but were born liars, or theives or cheats. Some people are bound to a wheel chair or have no vision or hearing. To dump someone simply because of a physical ailment seems like something a selfish person would do.

Having said that, if you plan on being with this person a long time, you might prepare yourself to be mentally and emotionally available for her as well. It's easy to tire from hearing about someone else's problem....especially if they talk about it all the time. As an example my wife has pretty bad skin condition (eczema) which she complains about regularly. Sometimes I just honestly get sick of hearing about it and wish she'd give it a break. But I also know that it's impossible for her to do so because her life is often so uncomfortable.

You might also keep in mind that it's very difficult for sleep-deprived folks to do normal every-day tasks. Things like grocery shopping or cleaning house may be simple and thoughtless activities for the average person, but for someone who can't sleep they can sometimes be torturous. You might occasionally volunteer to do some of these activities for her if she's feeling bad. Tom


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