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Posted by Casablanca on June 12, 2006 at 23:49:45:

Hello, everyone, I used to come to the forum a year ago and even before that, and recently I have only been reading your messages.

I have had insomnia for many years. I have had good stretches and bad ones. I have tried practically everything out there. Twenty-two years ago I went to the sleep clinic at Stanford. They helped me quite a bit. Also, there was a "sleep better" class at Kaiser in CA that was really great. When I am in a bad stretch I read my sleep log from that class and am just amazed how well I was doing during the time I took this class.

I am presently, and have been for a long time, taking Ativan. I usually take just one, 10 mg, and it helps. If I have something special planned the next day, I take a Doxepin (antidepressant) with it. It only works when I take it occasionally. But even that is not a guarantee.

Anyway, I read your messages and it is so true: Behavioral changes and the way I look at the problem is the only way to go. But I find it very difficult. Like tonight, I got myself really relaxed, but going to bed--nothing happened. So I get up, rather than lying there waiting (which is what one is supposed to do). Being behind the computer helps me not think about it, i.e., helps me not feel sorry for myself or get anxious. One of the bad things I got into the habit of doing is eating: apples, warm milk, toast, cereal.

I had been doing quite well (not perfect) for a while, however, the last 2+ months have been very difficult. Not being able to fall asleep, waking up several times, and averaging 4-5-1/2 hrs. interrupted sleep. It affects me physically too when I don't get enough rest. For example, I am a ballroom enthusiast, and I have forced myself to go even when I have had a bad night, but I don't feel energetic and even get a little off balance when I dance. The quality of life just isn't there for me when I am not rested. I guess somewhere inside I am still ranting and raving and fighting it.

The good news is that every time I go through a bad patch, I try new things. However, this time I am going to try and old thing: I have an appointment tomorrow at the sleep clinic---there is one in the town where I live. Perhaps there is something helpful I can learn that is new. After all, the last time was 22 years ago. Who knows. In any event, I am really looking forward to going.

Perhaps now I will take my scratchy eyeballs back to bed and see if I can drift off into morpheus' arms.

thanks for all your posts, they are helpful. Casablanca

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