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thinking outloud...


Posted by insomniacagain on March 01, 2007 at 12:12:33:

I was just reflecting on my insomnia condition (previously resolved by 7 months of Paxil use) and its harsh return after I decided to discontinue the meds and I am slowly realizing that some of us may have some biochemical deficits that prevent us from sleeping. When my insomnia first started it didn't really have a trigger, although possibly after years of being a perfectionist, overachiever, and growing up with anxious parents, my brain chemistry was altered to the point of resulting in a severe case of insomnia. When I decided to discontinue Paxil 2 months ago my life was great - I got engaged, received a Ph.D. that resulted in a big job advancement, bought a house with my fiance - just overall a happy life. Yet, my insomnia is back causing me anxiety and stress which I know are creating a vicious cycle in my life of insomnia-fear of insomnia-more insomnia. I think I also cannot claim any longer that my insomnia is a result of Paxil withdrawal after being off of it for 2 months. So in summary, my life is good, I feel settled and happy and yet insomnia is present in my daily functioning. Knowing that I don't think it is psychological but rather biological which of course introduces the issue of me having to be on meds to control it - a sad realization but could it be true?

I also want to add that my insomnia fluctuates between onset and maintenance insomnia (especially early rising). Also, I keep myself in good shape - I run, do yoga, take mineral/vitamin supplements with emphasis on B-complex, omega 3, and magnesium. I have also tried accupuncture and herbs. So all these things combined and a happy life, and yet my insomnia persists...I will admit that I'm not that skilled at CBT and it's hard for me to think positive when I'm barely functioning from lack of sleep but I'm doubtful whether that would fully remedy my problem.

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