Posted by TK421 on November 30, 2007 at 07:21:36:
I have a strange problem. When I actually turn off the lights and go to sleep, I don't have much of a problem falling asleep. But I find it really hard to get myself to bed in the first place.
I'll playing video games, or surf the Internet, sometimes with a laptop in my bed, sometimes in the living room... And I'll even tell myself, "I really should go sleep now. I'm rather tired, even. I should stop surfing the web." But I just won't go.
I have a flexible work schedule, so I end up going to work rather late. Lately it's gotten completely out of control. I used to sleep at 3 or 4, but now I'm often sleeping at 7am, then getting to work around 2pm. Work is flexible, but not THAT flexible.. I can't keep doing that. (Not to mention that I really need 8 hours a night to feel good, and I'm regularly only getting 5 or 6.)
I've even seen a couple of therapists about this, but they haven't helped. I know some things like how part of it is because I get a bit lonely and depressive at night, part of it might be that I've been really afraid of death since I was a kid (and I associate death with sleep), and part of it is that I'm dissatisfied with my day and kinda afraid of the next one and thus kinda putting it off... But really when I'm procrastinating going to bed, my overwhelming emotion is that I just want to keep my brain occupied. I want to keep it occupied with websurfing or video games to distract myself.
I've been dealing with this for a few years now, ever since I graduated and got a real job.
I just feel so frustrated and helpless about it all.
Even most insomnia sites mostly talk about people who turn off the lights and try to sleep but can't. That's not my problem. I can sleep when I do that. I just can't get into bed and turn off the lights in the first place.
I dunno... Anyone else like me out there? Or, better yet, used to be like me? :\
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