Posted by Alice on July 02, 2008 at 13:02:09:

In Reply to: can't sleep with partner--help! posted by electracat on July 02, 2008 at 12:33:44:

Electracat-

it sounds to me like you are sabotaging yourself. I know, because I have been there and thankfully, I can recognize when I'm doing that and normally I can stop. I think you are maybe subconsciously keeping yourself in crisis mode because you always are having something to worry about. Does that make sense? And please don't take this as a criticism as I am only either speaking from experience or from watching others.

I don't think that you would have been able to sleep with your partner and then SUDDENLY you can't. I think that part is self-talk.

Maybe if you changed your self-talk and had positive thoughts about sleeping with a partner. I have slept on and off with partners for years. I have always been able to adapt to either even when I thought that I would have a hard time.

Maybe if you see the comfort in having a partner there and you see it as a positive thing, your negative thoughts about it will change. I like feeling my partner next to me. It's a comforting feeling for me.

At one point, when I was in my bad patch months ago, I started meditating out in the living room, falling asleep and then coming into the bed around 3am for the rest of the night. That helped get me back to sleeping in the bed full-time. Maybe try that? That's a great way to start alone, get some sleep in and then when you wake up in the night, get into bed.

I bet that would work for you! Then, you gradually spend more and more time in bed.

Let me know how that works for you if you try it!

-Kristy :)

Follow Ups:

<

---