Posted by Selini on November 26, 2008 at 14:21:26:

I cannot help but to wonder how much of this is biological, and how much is psychological. Most often the getting to sleep is psychological - but the staying asleep...not so sure.

I am in my 30's. Spent more than half my life on drugs (including Xanax for an anxiety disorder - seems to share some similarities to my insomnia). When I sobered up 4 years ago, I lost the ability to sleep.
I have tried herbs, over the counter stuff, Rx's (now am taking 1/2 Imovane + Flurazepam). I find the imovane gets me to sleep - but only for some hours. Both of these things affect me the next day.

I have tried paradoxical intention - where I go to bed and tell myself that I am staying awake, and just resting, and don't want to or care to sleep. This helps - sometimes. Lately, I have been using imagery, breathing, and counting. I count "one" while I inhale, and "relax" as I exhale. I do this until "four", and then start all over again - meanwhile I imagine that there are waves gently coming up my legs and leaving with my tensions.
This has been helpful - somenights - Having a project to do in bed like this is helping me to associate something aside from the torture of not sleeping with my bed.

SOme of what you guys talk about on here has been so very helpful for me. I no longer feel alone and retarted (well, not as much). I now know there are other people that are so tired of hearing themselves complain to their loved ones, and of not being able to function - and am taking the message with me not to complain anymore.

Being an addict makes this extra challening for me. The pills I am taking have certain dangerous consequences, but when I get to my threshold of " I can't f'n do this any more!" I don't care what it will take to find some relief.

Meanwhile I am doing an internship that is so very important to me, and for helping me get into a graduate school. AND I have just gotten some weed (which I do not want to smoke) BUT I need to sleep!! The woman whose house I am living in right now, she is very energetic, and go-go-goes until 11:30 sometimes, and we then get up at 6. I am set up in her living room, and as you might imagine, I wake up to every little noise, and cannot sleep until she goes to bed. The pressure of time running out..knowing I won't sleep enough..keeps me from fallign asleeep as every muscle in my body tenses.

Sigh.

Meanwhile, it is SLOWLY getting better - as the years go by. Really f'n slowly.

And I see that most nights, when I surrender to not sleeping in complete acceptance of this, that I am able to sleep.

Is not easy to recreate that - as of yet.

Thanks to you all for being here, and for hearing my vent. I look forward to what you all have to share, and how you find strength, hope, and progress in this journey of trying to make friends with our beds again so that we can engage in life the way we ought to be able to.

Follow Ups:

• Re: self-induced craziness/vent i_will_sleep_again 14:32 11/26/08 (0)

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