How to Help Yourself
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How to Help Yourself

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Posted by Tom-N-Texas on September 06, 2009 at 20:20:12:

I think one of the problems with insomnia (at least the onset variety) is that the best way to deal with it is counter-intuitive to the way we normally deal with problems. Most problems are best solved by analyzing, by reasoning, by measurement, by planning, by goals, and ultimately by execution. Insomnia however, I believe, is the opposite of all that; it's not solved by addressing the problem, but instead by turning your back on it....it's not solved by filling your mind, it's solved by emptying it. Eastern mystics have known for centuries that emptying the mind via meditation is the best way to achieve mental clarity and peace.

Think about the last time you listened to a really good song. What was so great about it? Was it great because it cluttered your mind with hundreds of different scraps of information? Surely not....it was great because, for one thing, it cleared your mind; it probably emptied all the clutter and let your problems slip away, if at least temporarily. A good song usually can put you somewhere else....it takes the focus off what's in front of you. That's why, I think, classical music is so appealing to people -- it clears their mind for the moment, which is highly spiritual and highly healthy. Hugs do the same thing.

And it's similar with daydreaming; much of our best thinking comes when our mind is somewhere else....when we are distracted and/or aren't focusing on what's in front of us is when we are often at our most creative, at our most peaceful....it's when our minds are most open and honest and spiritual....it's when we envision the best life has to offer, it's where we're comfortable, peaceful, and live happily ever after. Same thing with dreaming....we often do our best, most creative and clear thinking while we're asleep, oftentimes in the morning, just as we're waking up. Many artists, poets and songwriters get their inspiration from dreams.


But going on an intellectual quest looking for an answer that is unanswerable is like a dog chasing his tail. It creates a vicious, never-ending cycle that ultimately wears the body and mind out. I've learned the questions don't end just because we actively look to answer them....So the answer to insomnia isn't to double up your efforts of investigation, it's to stop the chasing -- turn your back on it all -- forever. It's the psychological position that ends the internal battle that ultimately helps fuel the problem. So when the unanswerable questions pop up in your mind about sleep, the inevitable answer must be "I honestly don't know." The truth is, you simply can't have an intellectual battle if one side refuses to participate...you can't have a war if one side refuses to fight....you can't have fear or pain if you don't focus on the problem....that's how people walk across hot coals -- they turn away their focus...they don't think about the hot coals...they divert their minds to something else.

It's no different with insomnia. I'm living proof... It can be done....and I was once completely beaten and helpless...my life completely spun out of control. I couldn't stop thinking about it...still can't really, even right up to the point where I go to sleep. For me, admitting weakness is the psychological position of strength...giving up is the key for what locks out sleep....an empty mind heals; not knowing fills the void.

Finally, to me, "empty" doesn't mean "blank." It means redirective simplicity. It means clarity. It means going with your gut feelings. It means seeing everything at once; not focusing on any single detail. It means just being you again....thinking and acting like you. It means instinctively distancing yourself from things that hurt you. It means loving yourself again and re-introducing yourself to your family and life. It means getting away from insomnia-related material, maybe forever, or at least until you are sufficiently able to handle it. At that point maybe you can come back and help someone. Good luck, Tom

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