Posted by Tom-N-Texas on November 05, 2009 at 13:20:42:

In Reply to: Re: A Question to ask Yourself posted by sleepshallprevale on November 05, 2009 at 09:18:36:

Hi there, ssp......

you said this:

"The only med I have ever used to sleep is xanax and it is only giving me 3
to 5 hours sleep. This started one week ago when I woke up in the
middle of the night and pondered whether to take one of my wife's
xanax. I did and then obsessively waited to see if it worked. It
didn't. Now I am compulsively taking them every night and then getting
depressed before I try to go to bed. But I have talked myself into an
alternative of not sleeping at all."

You are terrified because you are confused about what to do. And when you pile on a lack
of sleep on top of that, then the confusion and fear get worse. You said a while back that
you used to sleep 90% of the time. Well think back to the times when you were sleeping
good -- what did you do then? My guess is that it wasn't rocket science. You probably
were just being yourself. You must know that simplicity is the key here. Reversing
insomnia is not something you do, but something you undo. In this case, I think, you need
to undo the confusion that's going on in your life now and get back to the simple life
(mentally and emotionally speaking.) This of course, is difficult if you're not getting
enough sleep, but I think you need to start getting yourself on that mental path as much
as you can. Quite honestly, I'm not so sure this forum is a healthy thing for you right
now. I can promise you that when I was going through my insomnia that this place was
like a snakebite. I mean I knew and learned all kinds of things about insomnia, but
ultimately it made me have too many thoughts in my head that I just simply couldn't
handle at the time.

To answer your question, though, no it wasn't particularly easy. After I decided to go 100%
drug-free, my recovery built up slowly, gradually. As the days, weeks and months went
by I started seeing patterns in my sleep; if I could just get to sleep one night, often sleep
would come easier and I would sleep in streaks. Some streaks were longer than others,
but there were streaks none-the-less. I still do that. I almost always sleep well
nowdays, but every once in a while I'll have a pig of a night. This happened again about
10 days ago. Sure enough it was a bit difficult getting back on track....but getting back
on track did happen. I can promise you though, that this thing that you're going through
can be turned around. You are not weird or hopeless. The same exact thing happened to
me, the same obsessions and worries and questions plagued my 24 hours a day. I used to
lay in bed at night and shake like a leaf. My heart would not stop beating fast and I could
never relax. Often I would wake up in the middle of the night just lose it. It was a horrible
time for me, it was a time when I lost myself. But by re-finding myself, I think that's what
made my insomnia lighten up enough to know that it was not invincible. Sure, practice
makes perfect and confidence only comes from success, but confidence is a great thing
because it can come in small doses and still be effective. All you need is a little bit to
crawl out of the hole.

So try to be patient with yourself. Try to follow your gut and just be yourself. Slow down
your thoughts and ease your mind. Sleep is just about being at ease with yourself. There's
nothing you have to do to make it happen. It will come naturally and easily if you let it.
Tom

Follow Ups:

• Re: A Question to ask Yourself Jackson 17:41 11/05/09 (3)
  • Re: A Question to ask Yourself Tom-N-Texas 19:28 11/05/09 (2)
    • Re: A Question to ask Yourself lynnhobbit 04:30 11/06/09 (0)
    • Re: A Question to ask Yourself Jackson 04:27 11/06/09 (0)
• Re: A Question to ask Yourself sleepshallprevale 13:38 11/05/09 (1)
  • Re: A Question to ask Yourself velsor 05:21 11/06/09 (0)

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