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Please help--just developed panic

Posted by electracat on November 17, 2009 at 19:58:53:

So, though i've had poor sleep (unrefreshing) and anxiety for many years, it's just gotten worse. I think this may be panic attack, though i'm not sure. Or maybe just nasty anticipatory anxiety.

Often when i lie down to try and sleep (whether at night or during the day) i find my heart beating a bit faster, and feel a bit tenser. But i haven't been much affected by it, at least not in my mind. I manage to rest as deeply as i can, and don't think about it.

Last week i noticed my heart pounding more than usual, and then this week i began the anticipatory anxiety as i lay down, or as i was heading to bed..."I was anxious and wasn't able to rest deeply yesterday, hope it doesn't happen again", and BOOM, of course it happens again. It's like a nasty game my mind plays--if i think about the anxiety, i'll recreate it. Ugh!! I'm unable to 'access' my tiredness, can't rest deeply, and get very distressed.

I've never had anything like it. Tonight i went to put my head down on the *couch*, and suddenly i thought, hey, it could happen here too (the anxiety), and BOOM--of course it happened. So now i feel that i have no place of refuge, and i feel very sad! I feel so out of control, so not able to relieve my body's tiredness.

I have had episodes like this (not exactly like this) and they go away within a week or so. I'm just so reluctant to work on breathing, relaxation, etc., because i know it's just my mind messing with me! If i didn't let the thought into my head, i'd be fine. So frustrating!!! But maybe i need to work on relaxation technique anyway..?

This is making me think about trying Lexapro again. Is this panic attack? Or just anxiety?

Thanks for any help. I'm sure a lot of people here experience this...I've just never experienced this 'additional layer' of anxiety, and i'm very worried it will teach my body/mind to expect it always. Arggh.

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