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ambien addiction

Posted by ruby on August 08, 2001 at 12:50:58:

I'm very glad to have found this site. Ambien is my problem, and I see I'm not the only one (I feel somewhat better knowing it isn't only me, though I wouldn't wish it on anyone). I have been taking it on and off (mostly on) for seven years or so. My dosage is relatively small, from 3.3mg to 5, sometimes higher. The side effects have become such a part of my life, I'm not even sure which are side effects and which are normal. They include: daytime tiredness (isn't everyone always tired?), rapid heartbeat (I'm a runner, my heart should be slow), heart palpitations and memory loss, among others. Like I said, I'm not even sure anymore. I had experienced blackouts a few times, but didn't worry too much about it. I think that was a mistake. One evening after a few glasses of wine, I took it and went to bed. My boyfriend arrived home before I fell asleep and wanted to talk. From what I vaguely remember, I went on a crazy tirade and said some awful and bizarre things. I really was out of control. Thankfully, my boyfriend is extremely forgiving and patient. This episode scared me very much, so I decided to do a bit of online research and was frightened by the information I read about ambien. I recognized many of my physical problems on the various lists of side effects reported by other users (of course, not by the drug company). This freaked me out so much that I decided to quit - I tapered off over a week and was done with this demon…for a while, a little over a month. I REALLY WANT OUT OF THIS, but I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep. When I don't take it, I can't sleep or I sleep so lightly that I don't feel rested. I know I need to get through a few nights of sleeplessness to get off of it, but I always break down - I can't get through work and everything else with no sleep. I'm afraid if I tell my doctor she will take it away and I might never sleep (unreasonable, I know). I've thought about just throwing them away, but again, the same fear as always. Can anyone give me advice on how to kick this? Every night I say "not tonight" but then… I want to feel normal, to sleep normally and to know what normal is. Has anyone dealt with this? I am aware that it is purely psychological, but that doesn't help me. Thanks.

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