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Re: Desperate need of support

Posted by Kara on May 18, 2001 at 11:16:28:

In Reply to: Desperate need of support posted by Leah on May 18, 2001 at 09:46:56:

Leah,
Please don't give up...I know sometimes it seems like everything is closing in on you, but don't you give up!!! Remember, if a door is closed, a window is ALWAYS opened. I don't know if you have read any of my posts, but I went back and read yours. I have been battling this, what I now know is Narcolepsy for a good fifteen years. I know what it is like to be at a job and not be able to give a reasonable explanation of why you are falling asleep. I used to work as a server at Red Lobster while going through college. One evening, carrying an entire tray, packed full, with TWO LOBSTERS and a nice bottle of wine, I was going up the steps, and my knees just gave. I did not know then what I know now...We had what were called "Carriers", who would simply carry the tray and then you serve it. But, No...I had to do it myself...even though I was already exhausted, even though...At any rate, I hit the floor and was still holding the tray ( to my surprise) and running to my aid were to other servers...They grabbed the tray just as my arms gave out. The entire room burst into applause. I was scheduled to close that evening and would be there until very late. I guess the incredible wave of emotion did me in, because they helped me to the back room and I fell asleep in one of the booths. They called my roommate because I was, I guess, non-coherent. He drove twenty miles to pick me up and take me home. He stayed a while and then I seemed to be OK. I thought he was being so nice!! he then asked me if I did not FAKE the whole thing in order to GET OUT OF CLOSING!!!!! I simply could not answer him. I just looked stunned, I am sure. When I went back the next day, to pick up my car, my manager asked me the same question. I suppose he expected me to be in the hospital or something. I could simply not explain what had happened. Needless to say, I did not work as a server much after that. But, I ended up getting a job with an architect as his personal secretary. This, along with a few other jobs got me through school. Although I had received full scholarships, I had lost all of them due to grades because of abscences and tardies. I still pay for my schooling to this day and I am a little older than you are. Ok, a lot older. About ten years.

In that amount of time, I have been through garbage you would simply not believe, not even relating to Narcolepsy. But the one thing I knew I ALWAYS had available to me was my faith. I never lost that. I found it difficult sometimes to go on, but at that point in time, the clouds would break and a hand would always reach out to help. I truly believe God never gives you more than you can handle. But sometimes you have to endure the almost unbearable in order to learn, to grow, and become STRONG.

You persevere...You stick in there...And if you lose your job, then take the opportunity to get a real diagnosis, whatever it is, and if you fall under ADA, go back to school and get your Master's, or Bachelor's or Associates, or WHATEVER! And then get a job where they will appreciate you for what wou are. A worthwhile person with a great heart and I am sure a wonderful smile and incredible CREATIVITY. Take those dreams that we all have and PUT THEM TO USE! I Guarantee you all that Steven Spielberg, Steven King and the lady who wrote HARRY POTTER are ALL undiagnosed, or maybe diagnosed NARCOLEPTICS. They are Millionaires!! We are an imaginitive group! We dream more than the ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!! What are we doing with them???? I said earlier, no, I do not like falling down in public either. I do not like losing control of my hands while playing the piano. But I WILL GET THROUGH IT and I will be better off because of my fight and SUCCESS!!!!

Leah, I do not tell you all of this to say "oh, look how great I am!", I tell you because when the water gets deep and over our head, you may need to get your head above it to see where you REALLY are. My feet are Grounded. So is my FAITH. You can stand on my shoulders. They are supported by someone bigger than I.

If you ever need to hear how wonderful you are and how great you can be...let us all know...we will tell you....

May God give you a Window,
Kara

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