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TGIF!

Posted by Leah on May 18, 2001 at 22:34:50:

Well, I DID IT! I made it to friday, I am still alive, and still employed. still tied??? yep. Oh well. I just wanted to let you all know that even though my doc is out of state, I went ahead and made an apointment with his doc on call. I am not sure if he can refure me to a specialist, but I need to start somewhere, and I really need to see a doc. This is debilitating, and dangerouse! Not only am I very low on the functioning aspect, I am soon to kill myself or someone else on the road, if I don't do somthing. Besides, I just need to have an explination to what is going on with me. I need to hear it. I don't know maybe that sounds wierd. I guess I am just afraid that maybe what is going on with me isn't N. and that somthign else is going on. Maybe its just the depression.....although I was doing just fine with the depression until the sleepiness started interfering with my life.....THAT is makeing me depressed!

Work was really rough tonight. I barley got through, infact I didn't really, cuz I didn't finish the bathrooms. But everything else got done. I was SO tired!

Anyway, Here I am with another one of my famous questions. Ok, I had another one of my " Jerks," "spells" what ever you want to call them. I wanted to ask if this ever happenes to anyone eles. Ok. I was Outside at my 9pm smoke break, Im not really sure what caused it, but I had one of my "jerks" my head fell back and body weak. okokok the question is this. With these "jerks" I get a "serge" as I call it, or it could be described as tingling. Most of the time they are somewhat small. They generally tend to hit my arms, neck, sholders, and eventually working its way to my head. With the big ones, it may start in my arms, neck, head and work back down my arms, all the way to my toes, back to my head. Is this a freakish thing???? or is catoplexy? since I was 16 I have wondered what this was.....it has gradually gotten worse, as has my other symptoms since I was 16/17. When I was 18/19 I had a friend who thought I was having sieziors when this happend to me. But after a while I just got used to them, and just a part of my life. Now that they are getting worse, its getting wierd, and scary. Thank God when I have had these big ones I have been sitting down. Ok, thats one question. The other one is this. After the tingling stoped, I lifted my head, but couldn't keep it up, it feel back, my eyes closed......(I wasn't sleeping) My head was SPINNING!!!! when I finally was able to to open my eys, and lift my head,and almost threw up. And was still struggling with the dizziness. Has this happened to anyone??

Ok, Ok.....ONE more. Sorry guys. I am full of questions. Today, I have been having a strangly hard time with talking. I have been stuttering all day. Does this happen to anyone??

Sorry for all the questions, and for the length of the post. Thanks for your time. I hope EVERYONE has a wonderful weekend. I'm sure I will write many times again. ;o)

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