Narcolepsy Forum Posting

Posted by Canine on July 04, 2001 at 20:12:13:

In Reply to: my bfriend posted by girlfriend on July 04, 2001 at 10:48:57:

Girlfriend,

Thank you so much for posting in this forum. I think that it is wonderful to have a sympathetic, non-Narcoleptic who is seeking advice. Your boyfriend is very fortunate to have someone like you. Many of us have written about how nobody really understands us or wants to.

1. I would suggest patience. I do not think it is very easy to be with a Narcoleptic person. I know that I am very difficult to deal with when I am so tired that the grumpy, cranky monster comes out. Also, the medication can give me mood swings, euphoria and lows, etc.

2. Research is great. Although you might not understand what your b/friend is going through, you will know why he is behaving a certain way. This could avoid arguments. For example, if he snaps at you and then has a sleep attack, you could say to yourself: "Well, I didn't like that he was rude but he must have been tired and grumpy because he just crashed so maybe it was the N talking and not him." Also, this might explain the staying the night thing. Narcoleptics NEVER have a good night's sleep, and that is just a part of having the condition, so your b/friend was not lying when he told you that it was not you staying the night. Although your presence in the bed might disturb him on some level (if he has lucid "waking dreams" like I do and always feels half awake), he would not sleep well anyway. Researching N would help you to understand this and then not feel guilty about staying over.

3. Communication. It's amazing that you are reaching out to us, but I think that you also need to tell your b/friend that you are posting here. He should post too! We're a friendly bunch and the wisdom and humour here on this site of chucker, sammy, philip, amee, student, kara and others cannot be found anywhere else and is invaluable. Also, communication is important when it comes to the driving. You need to be honest with him about pulling over. Although he seems to be very responsible about asking you to drive when he is tired, he needs to do the same thing even though he is close to home. My thought is that maybe when he is close to home he just wants to push himself to see if he can make it without having to "give in" to the N. N limits us to some extent and this show of bravado may be his way of expressing a bit of anger at these limitations. This is just an opinion, but that is exactly how I would think in his shoes. I think that if you spoke to him firmly about this though, he just might start to pull over even when close to home. As an N driver, I am VERY aware of any passengers I take in the car, and I am sure that he is too so your feelings pf insecurity and anxiety about this "push for home" will mean a lot to him.

Too tired to go on. Just had brain freeze.

Good luck and keep us posted. You are doing the right thing coming here. I wish others would too.

Canine.

Follow Ups:

• thanks girlfriend 08:43 7/05/01 (2)
  • Re: thanks... chucker 11:13 7/05/01 (1)
    • Re: thanks... girlfriend 12:07 7/05/01 (0)

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