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Re: Does no one understand???

Posted by Starr D. Lacey on January 02, 2002 at 20:20:29:

In Reply to: Re: Does no one understand??? posted by 18k on January 02, 2002 at 16:45:03:

You wrote me back at the right time. I have been fighting with my mother ever since I e-mailed her and expressed my feelings about the way she and other family members were making fun of me. My sister, who was present, said that when she opened the e-mail and read it, she commented, "she is such a bi***", This is my mom here!! I am only 21 and for some reason wvery time I get down, ahe treats me like I am an idiot for crying or getting upset. She is my mother and I do lover her, but I also feel so much anger towards her for treating me like this all the time. I spoke to my theripist about this she tols me to stay away from her because she caused me to stress out. No matter what she always has something negative to say about me. I honestly can never think of a time when she actually encouraged me. When I tell her the meds that I am on and tell her that they aren't really working, she just tells me to quit taking them and stop seeing a doctor. I do not even know why my mom resents me so much. She was 15 when she had me, I think that she blames me for her missing out on her teenage years. Is this normal? Normal for a mother? It's so strange because no matter what she does to me I always forgive her and cannot stay angry. You see, my mom recently had a baby and for some reason since then, it just seems like I love her even more and can never stay mad at her. I only am around her so I can visit my sisters, who are 13 and 2. She honestly drives me so crazy that I thin kI would rather die than spend more than 24 hours with her. I always end up having triple my normal attacks when I am around her, she constantly is putting me down. I swear, there is no sharing your feelings with this lady. She acts as if having feelings are "not normal", which she calls me all te time. She also always tells me I am "crazy", she thinks this because I refuse to touch raw meat. I know I am not the only one.. Now, I do have OCD, but still, I think everyone in this world has OCD about something. Am I right? The main reason I am writing now is because I need to go some doctors tommorow and guess who has to drive me??? Now this was a last resort thing,but, it's my MOTHER. When I look around I see other mothers and talk to people, and it seems that no other mothers are like my mother. Does anyone elses mom call them a "bi**h" all the time???? I am not saying that my mother was a bad mom, but she is just driving me to the point to where I could really care less for myself, or anyone else for that matter. Even though I know what she is saying is false, the more I think about it the more I start to believe it. For example, In the past I gave up religion, currently, I am trying to regain my faith, well, she says that, " God gave me Narcolepsy to punish me for not believing". Is this crazy or what??? Well, I better go, hopefully I can make it through tomorrow with out.. well I don't know. Talk to you soon. Starr Lacey



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