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Re: Narolespsy is killing my mariage.

Posted by Emma on August 27, 1999 at 18:09:51:

In Reply to: Narolespsy is killing my mariage. posted by Kellie Kerschen on August 26, 1999 at 14:05:01:

Kellie --

I don't know if I can help you. Read through the rest of this forum and you will probably get answers to a lot of your questions. I assume you have been married for years, you owe it to your marriage to read up on this.
For the "regulars", you might as well skip the rest of this. I've said it all before.

My marriage was doomed from the start, sort of like the Titanic, Narcolepsey was just the iceburg. I'm Narcoleptic, and it is very difficult, especially relationships. But there are a lot of things that are worse, my marriage ended because I was married to a jerk, not because I was Narcoleptic.
Ask almost anyone who is divorced, it is incredibly painful. First piece of advice, don't go there. This is the worse and the sick part they talked about when you vowed to stay together untill death. He needs your support now more than ever, let him know that you love him and even though he is driving you nuts right now, you are behind him 100%.

#2
You are not alone, just read the other postings by spouses. You are married to someone who has been recently diagnosed with a serious chronic illness that needs to be carefully managed. Get appropriate family counciling. (If you can't afford it talk to your pastor, or think about how much a divorce will cost you.) Handling it like a family problem is much more effective, and closer to reality. Join a support group. At the best time of his day talk to him about the narcolepsey. Print out some of the forum letters for him, and have him check out the forum. I find it extremely comforting to read the postings. I know that I am a perfectly normal Narcoleptic, it helps to talk to people who really truely understand.
#3
Your husband cannot help but be Narcoleptic. In fact, he sounds like a perfectly normal Narcolpeptic, right on track after a diagnosis and with the meds. It gets better once you learn how to manage the symptoms. That is where you can help. Do everything you can to promote a healthy lifestyle, learn as much as you can about YOUR spouses disability. You both have to live with it, it is not just his problem, you are a team.
#4
Sleep in the spare bedroom. You can't function well if you are sleep deprived too. He may not be comming to bed because he doesn't want to keep you up. Provigil does make you an insomniac for a while too.
#5
Have him checked out for allergies. A lot of us have them. I went to one a couple months ago and it really helped. Read the postings on that.

I would also recomend Steven Covey's book the Habits of Highly Successful Families.

It will take a while and a lot of effort but if, and only if, you both work at it you can live relatively "normal" lives. You have to manage narcolepsey, not let it run your lives.

Good Luck,
Emma

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