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Re: Running away from the truth...

Posted by gone2bed on March 17, 2003 at 07:55:57:

In Reply to: Running away from the truth... posted by Shadow on March 14, 2003 at 21:43:25:

Shadow:

When you said, "I seem to accept my diagnosis in a theoretical way, but not as a part of MY life," this really hit home for me. Since I don't have "typical" cataplexy, my specialist has shed *some* doubt on a 100% Narcolepsy diagnosis. Still, he tells me "nothing is textbook" and so it is appropriate to treat me as a Narcoleptic patient (on my MSLT I reached REM sleep in less than 2 minutes on all five naps!).

Anyway, because my cataplexy is "atypical," I always find that I am doubting I have Narcolepsy. I then beat myself up for being lazy or for not getting as much work done in a day as my other friends. When I look at my situation objectively, I think, "I wouldn't expect a Narcoleptic to get as much work done in a day as I do of myself." This helps somewhat, but it's still hard to accept on a day-to-day basis. I find myself crying and feeling sorry for myself sometimes and I feel really guilty for being so unfair to myself and for not appreciating that my situation could be much worse. It's an endless cycle really....

All in all, even if Narcolepsy *isn't* my "label," it's still pretty apparent that I have health problems that make life more difficult than for the "normal" person.

gone2bed.

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