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help am i mad


Posted by hazy day on February 23, 2004 at 12:11:28:

Hi all,

Approximately 2 years ago i was officially diagnosed as having narcolepsey after a search of 13 years for answers i am currently on provigil 400mg per day and clomipramine at 150mg per day i have noticed over time that the effects have started to wear off on these drugs and friends and family now suspect im a manic depressive. Anyway over the weekend i did something i have not done for years i got drunk id had an argument with some of my siblings and was really upset about it, i went to a friends and devoured a bottle of vodka laced with red bull everything was fine until i went to sleep on my friends sofa, i was awoken by them not long after falling asleep they were completely traumatised by my actions within my sleep, seemingly i was kicking and wailing in my sleep on waking i lashed out at them, i think they were ready to call the nut house or worse still my siblings who i had allow manipulate me into this situation but as i spoke to them everything that seemed to have happended and had been at the forefront of my dream which is all i can imagine it was began to fade and i have found myself questioning that evening for the last two days. I understand that i am angry at having my life affected by this condition obviously as most people are but they said and i quote "they had never heard an animal let along another human being in so much pain" i feel completely calm and rational about it as i have been having sever dreams for so long both ones of nightmares and ones of extreme elation. Is it the drugs im taking? should i ask for a change? and if so which ones are available? I want to be able to put my friends minds at rest and assure them that i am okay and its just an effect of my condition please help

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