Narcolepsy Forum Posting

Posted by Mystic_Matt on December 09, 2004 at 14:54:39:

Dear Narcoleptics...PLEASE WAKE UP TO WHO YOU ARE.
Spirit is calling you!
My narcolepsy started eight years ago for no apparent reason, pretty much before i had started with hallucinogenic drugs, although I started to get sleepy in my final year of university. After leaving South Africa for England in search of good prospects, my first foray into the world of work was a summer stint on a private sailing yacht in the mediterranean. During the day I would be standing on deck and feel my knees start to buckle as the weight of sleep caught me off guard. While I was in Greece, my sleep attacks started happening once a day and then it was twice to three times a day. I thought I was just overtired and suffering from depression.
Sometimes i would just black out, but only for about 15 minutes, then I would wake up feeling refreshed and energised.
After returning to the UK, i started working within the investment banking industry, doing a high powered high stress job, which started to take it's toll on my health and I would sometimes be seen slumping over my keyboard with midday deadlines looming. All all i lost 6 contract jobs over 5 years, as well as most of my self esteem.
I couldn't get into a long term relationship either, as i continually felt like a cripple and started to beleive that I would be always have to start applying for jobs as a disabled person. All this time I was going to gym 3 times a week, although I was starting to binge drink on the weekends as a way of escaping. My predicament was made worse by the fact that my "condition" remained undiagnosed for the first 3 years. Only after visiting 2 independant neurologists, was I told that i had the classic symptoms of narcolepsy.
I had started doing my own research long before, and so, was prepared for the diagnosis, which was something of a relief when it was announced. After that i was put onto providgil, which helped, but made me feel grumpy and irritable at work, so eventually I stopped taking it.

In 2002, after losing contract job number 5, i started feeling very lost, sad and lonely in my sleepy prison.
My hypnogogic hallucinations were occuring weekly, with accompanied nocturnal panic attacks and feeling that something was trying to suffocate me and sit on my chest.
I used to describe the feeling to friends, as being vacuum packed in my duvet!!
I also used to get the cataplexy, when I was at the punchline of a joke. Being someone with a very dry sense of humour it used to irk me that I always had to brace my body during laughing, as laughter was always such a spontaneous thing with me. I come from a loving family and i have always been known to be a happy well-adjusted child, even though my father was quite hard on me growing up.
One day in late september things really came to a head and I was just about to apply for a permanent position as a systems trainer with a pension fund company, but was so depressed and at such a low ebb, that i decided to pray. This is very unusual behavior for a guy like me, as I
always used to tell people, when asked, that i was a gnostic. Anyway there I was on my knees asking God for help. I prayed every night for about 3 days and a flood of repressed emotion flooded out and i remember sobbing on the floor of my room, telling God that this was not how my life was supposed to be.
I asked God to show me the truth as to why I was like this and how i could get out of it. I never felt that the work i had done in the past was fulfilling to me and somewhere deep inside i found the strength to tell God that all I wanted was to help people in some small way and make the world a better place. Sounds very corny, but remember my life had just decente into total chaos and many years of frustration and suffering were poured out.

About a week later I got a call from my parents, saying that i should meet them in Spain for a holiday, as they wanted to see me and were worried about me. Bless them!

I was staying in the spare room and went to bed on night 6, which was a very uneventful night. Just a light family dinner...alcohol free and an early night.

At about 4:30am I had a dream, whcih I can only describe as not a dream. Those of experiencing such dreams will know what i am talking about. It was a feeling of being ripped out of my body with such force, that I was instantly aware of being..not in my body. I don't have any other words for it. It was like an electrical cord had been plugged into my chest and my whole body shuddered and I remember a feeling of intense heat shooting up my limbs. I distinctly remember a feeling that there were hot spinning fibres boring into the palms of my hands, but at the same time i was overcome with a strong sense of peace.
I remember sitting bolt up right in bed and just staring at my palms thinking...what the f... was that.
For about an hour i was so stunned i could hardly speak.
Just mesmerised by these tiny red marks on my hands.
The next night it happened again, only this time I was aware of other beings around me. These beings were surrounded by rainbow shaped colours and they radiated peace and love. I remember being terrified and i demanded to know why this was happening and why i had been removed from my body. The one started speaking to me, although no words were spoken. I was told in no uncertain terms: "Matthew...we know what's best for you"
After that i woke up with the same hot hands and a feeling that something was put into me.
This carried on for a while until I became almost hysterical with fear. I was terrified of going to sleep at night. A few days later i remember asking the same beings to "fix my narcolepsy" and i remember asking them that if they had the technology then it was possible. Again the response was. "Matthew...you don'thave narcolepsy"

On returning to London I started having nightly OBE's, only this time beings with wings would decend in the early morning and basically take me up with them somewhere.
I thought by this stage that I was on the brink of madness. The abductions would take place even at lunchbrak while i was snoozing in the car during the first month of my new job. I was battling to cope and became reclusive.
I also stopped drinking and spent most nights at home.
After the permanent job resulted in a constructive dismissal i decided that maybe it was time to head back to South Africa, since my parents had basically agree to have me stay at their place until such time as something could be arranged with regard to Long term accommodation

I was at home for 3 months and not one psychic experience. All quiet on the western front! In April i started feeling as though I was over the worst and landed a new job with a local training company. All was going well until about April/May 2003, when the psychic stuff kicked off again in earnest. I had some dream where two beings dressed in black had me on a table and were doing something to my feet and then put some kind of serum into my arm.
The next thing I knew i was being instructed to dive through solid objects...wood...steel..glass...and i had to fight a fire breathing dragon. Iwas told that I must start to see my spirit as being formless and so eternal and invincible. There were definately 2 beings once male one female, but there faces were hidden. On waking i remember catching a glimpse of the male entity's long curved ivory thumb nails. I was told that i would have to overcome my "fear"
At this stage I was keeping a journal of my night time sortees into the spirit world and I had no idea that this was only the beginning...

I decided at that time to try a bit of meditation, thinking it might help to take the edge of the madness i was experiencing. I bought a book and slowly taught myself the technique, although sometimes it was quite difficult, as i used to nod off, just as soon as I became relaxed.
There were a few nights where i would slip into a deep state for an hour or more and I started to get a feeling that I needed to "heal myself".
So began my search...I started to get info on various types of healers and I finally settled on a kinesiologist (muscle testing) She was recommended by an old school friend and I took an open minded approach and threw caution to the wind. After several emotional sessions, where i released anger and resentment held towards my father and also self-loathing, i started to feel and incredible shift. I felt like a huge weight had lifted off my shoulders. I also realised that I had to release the narcolepsy story and get on with my life. This was quite an attitude shift for me.
On day 4 after the sessions I felt great, but on that night i had a terrifying dream where something had put some kind of power current through my body. I woke up with this surge of energy ripping through my chest, only this time much stronger than before. I woke up gasping with these spinning needles now in my thumb and fingertips.I remember groaning and shaking and as i woke up, my whole body felt charged with this weird energy.
When I woke up the next morning and walked out of my room, it was as though my whole life had become crystal clear and i suddenly had these amazing insights into relationships and I remember feeling that i could actually see into things as well as people. This also brought with it extreme sadness, as i realised that there were many people that i had hurt along the way!
A couple of nights later I started becoming aware of a noise in my room at night. After patient observation and listening i started to sense that it was coming from the ground. At first I wondered how i could hear it at night but my parents could not. It eventually grew louder and louder until i felt the weight of this "thing" on the foot of my bed . It literally had a density and it exerted a force which my legs could detect.
By this stage I was so scared i could hardly move. I was urinating all through the night and my adrenals were constantly overloaded. This thing would crawl up the foot of my bed each night and slowly move up and down my body as i was drifting off to sleep. Just before losing consciousness it would attack me in my sleep, either posing as a friend or relative, which i would naively reach out and touch. Night after endless night these attacks continued until i was such a mess that i was recommended to go to a psychiatrist. my parents thought by this stage that their son was losing the plot.
This thing always try and touch my body and it would always impart a feeling of dread and panic.
In the day time, work became hell, as I would constantly be surrounded by this cloud moving up my spine and over my body, brushing the nape of my neck and crawling over my scalp. With closed eyes i could see flckering and i started detecting a vibration in my matress every night. It also had a putrid, oily smell and would attack my face.
I used to sometimes feel that it was like some kind of demon trying to penetrate me. I used to wake up to a feeling that wind was being blown up my nostrils. I used to hear popping noises in the pillow and feelings like something was trying to have sex with me.
I am hoping that some of you will identify with these experiences. By this stage I was so weakwith fear that one night this spirit found a way to bore itsself into my solar plexus. I would up screaming and a feeling that there was some kind of vibratio in my stomach. Almost like a cat purring. I went down to my local minister who exorcised me and this thing came out of my mouth, but would reenter the same night. Then I went to a reiki practitioner who expelled it but it returned again.
By this time i was depressed and suicidal, as you can imagine. I was so weak in fact that i could hardly get out of bed and the attacks continued night after night for 9 months. I don't know how i survived. I prayed alot, but meditation was useless.

I started having attacks in the car while driving and then had attacks into the crown of my haed and had this thing penetrate my anus and scrotum. At night I would wake to the feeling that something was shooting me with a laser beam. It was always in a sensitive area. Groin, solar plexus, throat, heart, testicles, back of the knees.
In my dreams i saw this batlike creature messing with my feet shooting darts into the soles of my palms.

In the day time i was experiencing dizziness, loss of smell, memory loss, mania, paranioa, muscle twitching, aching joints, loss of libido, panic attacks and the list goes on.

I spent a fortune on healers...most of whom had no idea how to help me. I was a mess

Eventually I managed to expel this entity and my poor battered body eventually discovered a way to switch off the fear.

I was reading tons of esoteric literature, which helped to understand what was happening.

At the moment i am still sleeping terribly and my breathing is severly constricted.
This was after one night when i felt something hammer devices which felt like crystals into my left hand fingertips and big toe. After that particular attack i became completely lethargic and depressed. I tool anti-depressants and all sorts of chemicals and vitamins, all of which were absolutely useless.

During all this time, I have developed a sick fascination for what is happening to my body. I try and observe and record everything that happens and i am starting to get an idea of the importance and "gift" of narcolepsy.

As i explain my theory, please note that you might all be experiencing similiar things to me. I do not want you to accept all of it. Rather take what resonates with you and discard the rest, but please read everything and consider it in an open-minded way. I am a well educated guy, who could never have beleived that these kinds of experieced are possible. In fact i would have been extremely cynical towards anyone with a similair story. Also I hold a B. degree in Economics and i have worked for some extremely left-brained organisations. What I have to say will confound the rational mind, but we all know the truth deep down inside. There is a spirit world and we are inextricable emmeshed in it. We are spirit in 3 dimensional form and we have incarnated on earth, each and every one of us, to fulfil a certain role and carry out a certain mission. Some of us find happiness and fulfillnment in farmind, others in Engineering, some in more mundane roles. There are a large number of people destined to fulfil a spiritual mission, either due to karmic obligations, or because we have chosen these roles for our highest purpose of spiritual development.
Some are healers, others are teachers.
Each illness has a particular spiritual meaning and it should be viewed as a spiritual lesson.
Carolyn Myss talks about how these illnesses are sent from spirit to let us know that there is something fundamentally wrong with the way were are living, or what we are doing career wise.
To fall asleep all the time, means quite literally that we are falling asleep to who we truely are. The time has come to stop popping the amphetamines and wake up.
Ask yourself, if you beleive in God and then ask yourself how God could possible stop you from doing what you are doing with your life and forcibly, or with gradual persuasion, make you unable to carry on.

The only way God and the angels(if you beleive in them) can do this is through the chakras. Those invisible spinning vortices surrounding the body.
Through directly manipulting these chakras, either though devices or negative entity attack, our energy centres can become clogged up and our intake of life force or prana can be blocked or severly restricted.
We need to ask ourselves how we can control it.
We can't...the chakras extend beyond the physical body into other planes and dimensions.
Once the chakras are blocked, the nadis become clogged, as do the meridians, which carry the prana through the lymphatic system.
Through faulty perceptions we create our own disease, but it can also be created through "possession" of negative entities, who prey on drug addicts and people who don't protect themselves.
Sometimes we are forced into state of chronic fatigue, because we refuse to acknowledge a spiritual calling.
We never talk to God. We never ask for help. We constantly deny his existance, we are constantly sinning and we basiclly never listen. In the new age philosophies, people mention initiations into a spiritualy calling.
The bible has a classic story about Job, who is struck down with God, because God is trying to teach Job a lesson.
Job suffers...blames god...becomes self righteous and indignant...then realises much later that God is in charge and has the power to command that the devil go and makes Job's life a living hell, but is not given the authority to kill him. Eventually, after much suffering, Job concedes and says to his friends. God giveth and God taketh away...praise be to God.
As the planet is ascending from 3rd to 5th dimention, many people are going to experience nightmares of suffereing.
Some lasting only a short while, some lasting years.
We are transmuting karma at a rapid rate and it is becoming unbearable for some. In fact, some are choosing to leave in vast numbers. This is not going to get easier.
The bible talks about the incredible suffereing and what you are experienceing is the knife edge, that accompanies the start of every spiritual journey. Live in hope!
Once you pass the suffering stage you will be told what you will have to do. For most of these spiritual warriors
the journey will culminate in a realisation of what you have been born to do. I beleive that for most it will mean an authentic career, which is deeply linked to spirit and fulfilling beyond your wildest dreams. Never give up!
All the worlds great spiritual leaders have gone through adversity. Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Buddah, Dalai Lama.
All have embraced the challenge. Jesus was a master and he had to suffer death. We will never have it that tough, but that was Jesus' calling.
The spiritual initiation is a crucifiction of suffereing and is designed by the powers that be to toughen you up and strengthen spiritually weak areas. Fear, resentment, greed...these might all be areas whih you need to develop before you can ascend. After you have received the first initiation the rest will start coming to you thick and
fast. It gets easier as you progress. That is how we grow to gain mastery and maturity.
I read a great book by Joshua David Stone on the Ascention proceess and the spiritual path. One is called soul psychology and the other one is called the complete ascention handbook.

My overriding feeling is that as each and every one of us embraces this calling from spirit, so we will grow in both wisdom and strenght with our health returning as never before. It will take time, patience and endurance.
Although my chakras have been blocked purposefully, i no longer have the cataplexy and i am only napping at 4pm, intead of three times a day. I know that even though i might have another 3 years left, i a getting excited by the prospect of some kind of vocation arising as a result of this. A psychic i spoke to mentioed that i have the gifts of writing and teaching. Can't agree about the writing bit, but i do feel that i am a natural teacher.
Only thing is, that i have never found anything that i am really passionate about teaching.
Anywy, please don't get despondant about what i have written. Some of you will be lucky and maybe not suffer as much.
As the saying goes..."When life gives you lemons"...make lemonade!" That's something new for me as i used to be so bitter about my misfortune!
Look at your sleepiness as a sign that you need to wake up and take your first step on the spiritual path.
Bon voyage
Please feel free to write to me.
Oh and the weird dreams, hypnagogic, are all visions of beings and are part and parcel of being a sensitive(psychic)
we have these gifts to develop later on, but the psychic attacks are due to negative entities trying to discourage us. Remember it is the battle for good vs evil and we will be attacked until we realise that no harm can befall u

Follow Ups:

• Re: Wake up - spirit calling you!!! Henry in NY 19:53 12/09/04 (5)
  • Re: Wake up - spirit calling you!!! Mystic_Matt 22:01 12/09/04 (4)
    • Re: Wake up - spirit calling you!!! sleepykitty 05:21 12/10/04 (3)
      • Re: Wake up - spirit calling you!!! j 13:36 12/13/04 (2)
        • Re: Wake up - spirit calling you!!! sleepykitty 07:40 12/14/04 (1)
          • Re: Wake up - spirit calling you!!! ScreenName 04:12 1/20/05 (0)

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