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Fear of surgery

Posted by Marco on February 24, 2004 at 21:42:16:

Hi all!

I posted here back in 2002, and I obtained some good advice. I'm in my early 30s', 255 lbs., 5'9", and a smoker. I have been diagnosed with a "mild case" of OSA, according to the RDI of two sleep studies I have had since 1999, but I was so anxious during them, that I did not sleep for vert long to begin with. I know, :)losing weight is a good first alternative, but you all may know what they say how sleep apnea can cause weight gain, and both weight gain and sleep apnea can cause lack of motivation to exercise b/c the fatigue (a vicious cycle). Well, this is a great message board and website with a wealth of information, while so many posts I have read reveal so much, and so many of you out there have such courage to take the step to get the operations.

Today, I was scheduled to undergo a UPPP, tonsilectomy, turbinate reduction, and a septoplasty. This is the sixth ENT I have seen since 1996, and they have all called for these procedures. This one seems to be the first honest one, so it seems, while he was the only who told me that there is no guarantee of a 100% improvement in the quailty of life when it comes to the OSA, where we all know this is the truth, but some ENTs' will say otherwise just to obtain more business. I liked his honesty, the fact that his office was extremely busy, while many people are obviously going to him, the fact that he learned to do the UPPP from somebody from Stanford, and he was recommended to me by a friend. Well, I also have an issue with anxiety, and I have been seeing a psychiatrist for this, who has prescribed me a pill, which did not help me much for this specific issue. In the past, I never went through to try and schedule an operation, simply out of fear, but this time, it was scheduled for today, and last night I had an anxiety attack, called the ENT's office and left a message to cancel, got drunk, and went to sleep (finally, I could calm down with three bottles of Smirnoff Ice). :) I am not much of a drinker, actually, since it does not agree with me all the time, and I have read that it's especially not good to drink alcohol before sleeping if one has OSA, since it can contribute to the sagging even more of the uvula and soft palate, thus cause more apneic episodes. Still, it did help me sleep last night, and of course, there was no way I was going to get up and go to the hospital for the surgery. Heck! I could have died on the operating table, and even if I wouldn't have died, I would be in major pain right now and all freaked out. I once read here that many of you prefered Percocet for pain, as opposed to Vicodin. This ENT prescribed me Vicodin Extra Strength, and said that if needed, he would change me to Percocet. One of my previous ENT's refused to prescribe anything but the minimum amount of Vicodin, and wanted to hear nothing more about it, so I dropped him right away. Sorry for all this ranting on and on, but I feel that you all understand more that any therapist or doctor, since you have gone through it, and I thank you all in advance for reading this, and hope I didn't bore you. :)

Well, you all. As I said, I backed out, simply out of fear of pain and death. All this stuff I have read about the pain, and the ENT told me about the sure blood from the septoplasty, and the nose being stuffed with cotton. Plus, I saw some pictures on some website of a UPPP, and it was freaky.

Really, I know it may all seem ridiculous to some of you with all of these fears I have, since the truth is, I have suffered since my teens with that feeling we all get from the sleep apnea that's comparable to a hangover when I wake up and throughout the day, and I realize that my life could improve after the surgical procedures, and maybe a month of major pain, and then hopefully, some improvement in my daily living. But, for some reason, I just can't bring myself to go through with it, while thoughts race through my mind of possibly not waking up, being wheeled into the operating room before going under and seeing all those scary instruments they use, the thought of being cut in my throat, and my sphenoid being busted for the septoplasty. It's all too much to ponder.

If any of you would like to comment, I would be very appreciative to read if you have any personal issues to share about your pre-op fears and post-op pains, etc.

Thank you again for reading my post, and thank you to The Sandman for making this message board possible.

Ciao for now,

Marco

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