Rest of the Sleep Disorders Forum Posting

Posted by Really Tired on July 24, 2002 at 07:33:36:

Hi everyone,

I have been having trouble sleeping since I was about 14 or 15, and at that time it was due to stress and worry and panic. My father died when i was 16, and after that I could not sleep at all for a while because I thought I'd die if I fell asleep.

I'm a very light sleeper and wake frequently in the night.

The problem i've been having recently though, or should I say problems, don't seem to be related to my anxiety (I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder but have not been on any meds for it for about 4 or 5 years now. I used to take Xanax to help with sleep and was also on Klonopin and other drugs)

Anyway, in 1999 or so I started having hallucinations upon waking. These were patterns -- stripes that were somewhat transparent and covered my field of vision, or checkers, like gingham patterns. It only happned when I woke up, and only for maybe 2 or 3 seconds.

I know I have bruxism as well because I wake sometimes grinding my teeth so hard my jaw or teeth will hurt.

I usually shake my leg nervously as I'm trying to relax and go to sleep, and I used to hyperventilate just before falling asleep, so I'd wake up and freak out.

Also in 1999 I started seeing auras, and went to the doctor. He thought it was retinal and sent me to a specialist who said I was having a migraine aura (which I believe since I sdo have awful sinus migraines and had been suffering with one for quite a while before seeing the auras). The auras have stopped, really. I saw one or two in the past 2 and a half years.

Then in 2001 I started having olfactory hallucinations, and went to a specialist. I had a brain scan and EEG which showed everything was normal. I still have these from time to time but they don't last long and aren't as strong as they were in 2001. They usually happen in the evenings, though not necessarily upon sleeping.

I have sleep starts, where I'm trying to fall asleep but then jerk awake or hear a loud noise in my head and jump awake. I also have teh feeling of falling as I'm trying to fall asleep, and have also had the sensation of vertigo as I'm drifting off.

I often wake completely in the middle of teh night with one relly intense thought/fear: "I'm going to actually die someday!" It's like I come to this stark realization that I'm going to face death someday and I wake up thinking this. It happens quite often. I don't need to say I have an intense fear of death and think about it quite a lot since my dad died.

On to the problem I have been having recently. the hallucinations are lasting a bit longer, maybe 1 or 2 seconds longer, they're more vivid, and not only do i see only patterns but I see things. I saw a small black "bat" flapping on the wall for about 2 seconds then it disappeared. When I wake and see patterns, I look around the room and see them but they fade pretty much right away. They last up to about 4 or 5 seconds then they're gone. Sometimes they just disappear instantly as I become more awake.

I always realize they're not real, and when I see them i am thinking, "Oh there is that hallucination again." No doubt that they're unreal, they don't feel real at all to me, and I have never had any thoughts about aliens or anything like that. I always recognize that these are hallucinations, and they disappear when i become more awake.

The past few nights though I have been waking with a start and crying out. I can't tell if I'm dreaming, having a nightmare, or what. I wake with heart palpitations and fast breathing and it's very uncomfortable and creepy. I think something caused me to wake but I can never tell what it was.

All of these weirdnesses happen when I'm trying to fall asleep or when I wake from sleep. But sometimes when i wake I'm not even totally awake because I'm so tired.

I have high blood pressure and am on meds for that, but this stuff started before I had high BP (I had low BO before, and the high is a result of weight gain and inactivity). I have never had high BP in my life before now, and I am trying to lose weight. I gained about 50 pounds between 1998 and late 1999, so maybe it's sleep apnea or something?

I have had a few instances where I awaken and can't seemto breathe for a couple of seconds, but I've had that only maybe 3 or 4 times in my life. I also awaken with my hands or fingers or arms numb. Also, I've been having muscle pain in my arm during the day because of the way I sleep.
I do tend to sleep ON my limbs but sometimes i've awakened with my hand numb and it's just sitting on my chest or something.

Boy this is a long post:) Sorry about that. I just have tons of sleep problems!

Any ideas or advice? I have no insurance which is a real bummer because I'm thinking I need to go to a sleep clinic or see a doctor. I hardly slept last night and am exhausted.

Follow Ups:

• Additional Really Tired 07:47 7/24/02 (2)
  • Additional Additional Really Tired 07:51 7/24/02 (1)
    • Re: Additional Additional not surprised 08:33 7/29/02 (0)

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